


Homesickness

by Missy



Category: Earth Girls are Easy (1988)
Genre: Alien Cultural Differences, Alien Culture, Alien Planet, F/M, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-05
Updated: 2013-08-05
Packaged: 2017-12-22 12:16:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/913115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missy/pseuds/Missy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Valerie gets a little homesick for Earth.  Sometimes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Homesickness

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Small Fandom Fest, Prompt: EGAE, Valarie/Mac, Any

It didn’t take her eyes long to adjust to the candy-colored world of Planet Mac – after all, Valerie’s life back in the pastel-toned Valley had prepared her for the neon streaks of light and the cascading clouds of glitter that seemed to illuminate her every step in this new world. It was like living in a giant Lisa Frank painting, and she totally wasn’t going to let a second of its brightness slip away in a moment of distraction. All of that watching and learning was having its effect – but, as it was with every tourist in a brand-new world, she had no idea how to find the bank and it had already been six (Earth) months since she’d arrived here.

Only Valerie wasn’t a tourist; this was her new home. She wouldn’t ever return to her sweet little sublet, her cats, her pool, with a sunburn and pile of Polaroids to show Candy. And while true love is totally bitching and she wouldn’t return to Earth if she were given a full line of credit at Macy’s and a guaranteed position as Cyndi Lauper’s personal stylist, sometimes she missed being able to walk down to the corner store and buying case of Aquanet and some Corn Chips.

Those were minor issues, she supposed. The first line of concern had centered around her decided lack of fur. They’d wanted to put her in the zoo at first, and it had taken hours of skillful negotiation from Mac to prevent her public enslavement and breeding (she could almost hear Candy’s approving “kinky!” at the very notion). The media attention died down eventually – then she found herself alone with Mac in their big, palatial house. Which was awesome – but kind of lonely. Whiplock and Zeebo were around – and underfoot – infrequently, and she actually missed their ridiculous antics as time stretched on.

It was Mac who encouraged her to socialize more. Within a month, Valerie had plenty of distractions to keep her from going completely bananas. She started by giving manicures to the various women of the Planet Mac, inviting them into the kitchen she shared with Mac and giving them French tips while she gossiped with them over various incidents and entanglements that had taken place during the week. 

It was hard to find a substitute for diamond polish, but the boys had their ways and connections – and the odd old girlfriend - and no one seemed to mind her unique bromides or odd stories about home – in fact, soon the phrase ‘going Brazilian’ was popularized as commonly popular vernacular among the Macians, who reshaped the word for themselves – on Mac, it meant waxing your facial fur off. Having made herself useful to their society, Val was less likely to be looked upon as a zoo animal – more like an odd curiosity, a woman whose talents helped her fit into the pack on the wings of sheer entertainment value, and that helped her draw her clients and neighbors into a fairly closely-knit little coterie. 

None of the lady-shaped Macians had ever experienced a manicure, either, let alone had their long claws trimmed or their fur set and dried, was a true crime to Valerie. The body was just meant to be perked up, be it with a fresh layer of shellac or a bit of a permanent or even tinting. After a bit of trial-and-error grooming - using the very unwilling Zebo and Whiplock as test cases on one of their rare stops home - she had developed a few tricks to help her tame the most unruly – and most private – bits of hair. She got to work developing a super-strong Emory board and taught herself how to paint the Macian’s thicker claws so that they shone vibrantly in their much brighter sunlight. They preferred brighter colors than she was used to – naturally - shades that caused Valerie to see spots after doing a full set, but everyone agreed that she was one heck of a beauty expert . Soon she had a healthy side-business going as a sort of kitchen beautician. Mac never protested – in fact, he was often the one making her dinner and rubbing her feet after a long, hard day of gossip and helping beautiful the world. And Mac was the sort of guy who deserved her all in return; she listened to him intently, made sure he knew she appreciated whatever the heck he did. (Frankly, she still couldn’t figure it out, but smiles, handholding and smooches illuminated by a triple moon seemed to grease the wheels beautifully). 

For everything that went well there was another thing that nibbled the highwires of Valerie’s anxiety. Some things existed to simply be adjusted to. Like the cuisine – it was mostly artificial and engineered for the Macians health, so she supposed it was as good for you as a bag of Cheez Doodles. And all of television programs there were obsessed with the planet’s royal family and Earth culture, little else, though she occasionally caught snippets of current events through the local news. All of this did nothing to ease Valarie’s homesickness –she had to ask her clients about the world, to suss out proper answers. 

For everything she missed about American culture, there were things she wanted to and could learn about in the Macian vernacular. There were small rocket cars and hoverboards to drive, warm, Pepto-Bismol colored lakes to swim in, trees that dripped with exotic candy. She would have time to figure it all out, eventually. She did have forever.

All of this – absolutely all of it – would be useless without Mac.

She grabbed onto the hand, once a furry paw, now a warm and welcome reminder of his true humanity, and a reflection of his sacrifice. It was enough to know that he was there, real, and that he wouldn’t hurt her like Dick had. He’d help bring her along, teach her the song of her heart, and let her adjust to the speed and tone of his world.

She smiled for him and felt the sweet hot glow of the sun kiss her skin. Yes. It was just enough.

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfiction uses characters from **Earth Girls are Easy** , all of whom are the property of **Julie Brown**. No money was gained from the writing of this fanfiction and all are used under the strictures of of the Berne Convention.


End file.
